"He who warned, uh, the British that they weren't gonna be takin' away our arms, uh, by ringing those bells, and um, makin' sure as he's riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed."
-Sarah Palin on Paul Revere
Interviewed by CNN in Boston, June 2nd, 2011

Saracudda Rewrites History

Listen my children and you shall hear
Of political crises so severe
Our nation is threatened as never before
By the specter of Ignorance at our door

It isn't al Qaeda that poses a threat
Not Korea or Iran nor China and Nyet,
There's little from Russia that we have to fear
Our liberty's foes are located here.

The danger is coming - a terrible blight
It's the Princess of Darkness, the Queen of the Right
Sarah Palin is loose and it's more than her views
Or her spreading her lies all over Faux News

We thought her stupidity couldn't be more
The election debacle, the media whore
The PACS and the clothes, the untalented daughter
And Levi, the First Dude and wildlife to slaughter

There's drilling and shilling her book and her state
Sarah Palin's Alaska - Oh give me a break!
The endorsements of candidates ready to run
They were all to the right of Attila the Hun

She doesn't let anything stand in her way
Mamma Grizzly will vanquish that bitch Tina Fey
And Katy, and Rachel and Sawyer who dare
To suggest she's got nothing 'neath that pile of hair

She's immune to ridicule, truth or good sense
She's got her supporters all equally dense
The Tea Party loves her, what else does she need
They will back her whatever her word or her deed

How far she has gone to me is a mystery
How can you explain this reversal of history?
So Revere warned the British, my goodness who knew?
We will rewrite the textbooks, the word will get through!

Paul Revere was a traitor, Tea Baggers will claim
They will join stupid Sarah in trashing his name
And if liberals in Boston should start to protest,
We have ways of dealing - Saracudda knows best

And what of the Minutemen swooping like eagles?
They were from Arizona and hunting illegals
And Samuel Adams, we must make it clear
He did go to Harvard, so don't drink his beer

Bunker Hill was a victory, The Redcoats were routed
The truth of that statement can never be doubted
And the Boston Tea Party - oh here's to our cause!
It was all about taxes, and Obama's laws

Founding Fathers were Christians so put on your blinkers
And ignore all the guys who were really freethinkers
For thinking's not part of Sarah's new quest
Rousing rabble and lying is what she does best

And as the Know Nothings do flock to her flag
Abandon all hope, for this ignorant hag
Will be quick to throw us right under the bus
We have met the enemy - you betcha. She's us.